Zach Townsend


Hey Zach, this is Tim - do you remember me? I worked with you at Ocean back in '87. We used to flick spit-balls across the room at each other while you pretended you were working on computer code.

Zach says he has no idea who you are. And please stop dropping half eaten pies in his mailbox.

Dude this is Pete. I have some more Xanax for you. Its the good stuff this time, costs a little more but does the job. Meet me on the corner. See yer.

Zach says he has no idea who you are either.

Hi this is Sonia. I am from Russia. I have seen your profile on expat-blog and I would like to be your friend. I have been looking for a man with whom to share my life for some time. Here in my own country, men do not care for their wives as well as you do in the West, and now I look for a life of love and passion with an honorable and decent man, which I believe you to be. Please excuse my poor English, but everything I have learned from an old copy of Playgirl magazine I found stuffed under the sofa. I can bring you everything you have hoped for and will love you more than any woman,man or pineapple can. Please reply my love with your photos and some more information about yourself. At the moment I am stuck at the bus station. I travelled 900 miles across a frozen wasteland to get to this internet cafe so I could send you this email. Please send me $1500 so I can buy myself a laptop and we can communicate further, and I can make arrangements to be your most caring and considerate wife.

Hi Sonia, Zach is married at the moment, but he says to send us a photo (or a video) so we can check you out.

Hi, excuse me for this email but I have a matter of some importance I must discuss with you. My father is Prince Abdul Abigan who was one of the richest men in Nigeria, but unfortunately my father's enemies conspired to kill him and now I must leave my country. Before I go I have to find a safe way to escape with his fortune which amounted to 18.2 million US dollars. I am looking for an honest and God-fearing partner who can help me retrieve my father's money. For your part in helping me I have agreed to share the fortune with you thus; 35% for you in assisting me to leave the country, 5% in miscellaneous expenses and medication, and 60% for me as I am his son. Please note that this transaction is 100% safe and I rely upon your utmost discretion. Please reply with your email and telephone number so we can make the arrangements. First I need you to book me a first class ticket from my country to London, where I need a suite at the Hilton. There we can meet and share the money. Please contact me quickly. Your friend, Mr Robert Dubagey.

Hi Mr Robert, ok, we've booked you a flight on EasyJet, but they say no luggage is allowed, so do you want to Fedex the money over to us?

Dear Adsense Publisher. It has come to our attention that you are telling people on your site that clicking on a Google Ad will automatically send a cake to that person. While we are working on such technology at GoogleLabsTM, we have not yet rolled this out to beta testers and would therefore ask you to remove this information from your website.

Zach says, can he be a beta tester? and if you click on one of the links on the right, we will send you a cake for FREE!

Hi, this is Nolan Bushnell. I can see from your website that you say you invented Atari. My lawyers say that I should first contact you to ask what year you invented Atari, so I can check if you invented it before I did. It was a long time ago now, so its difficult for me to remember.

Zach says he met you in 1969 when he showed you his game he called Pong and you said it was rubbish, and if you click on one of the links on the right, we will send you a cake for FREE!


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